Me: So this is an odd combo. What brings both of you to me today?
Jarel: Well, I’m always around. Figured you must be bored out of your mind at work. Why not give you a momentary distraction.
Vlad: And some eye candy.
Jarel: *rolls his eyes* I’m really going to have to have a talk with Aphrodite about you. I’m becoming convinced she had something to do with your birth.
Vlad: Do you find me as irresistible as everyone else?
Jarel: Given that I haven’t plowed you, no. Must you be so damn irritating?
Vlad: *grins* I brighten your day and you know it.
Me: Yeah, anyway, before that spirals out of control what’s the deal. Got some news for me?
Jarel: I always have news. But this is one of those interview things. You’re supposed to ask the questions.
Me: Hardly fair. I’m not prepared.
Jarel: I’m a primordial god. Don’t insult my intelligence.
Me: Alright fine, when the hell do I get to write your book.
Jarel: Yeah, any question but that.
Vlad: Oh that’s so not fair. We all know you get one. Why play with everyone’s emotions?
Jarel: Hi, I’m a primordial god that even the most powerful gods fear and revere. I do what I want.
Vlad: You told him to ask a question. You could give some form of an answer. See, this is why fate made me, to piss you off because you piss everyone else off. It restores balance.
Jarel: Fine, you’re get my story after you get to all my children. Yes I do have one, and no, I’m not telling you if I have a mate or who it is.
Me: You’re no fun. At least I know who Vlad’s mate is.
Vlad: Yeah, that’s a bit of a shock to me too. I’m convinced this one did it on purpose.
Jarel: I don’t create souls or soul mates. I just spot them and light a fire under them on occasion to get them to make a move.
Vlad: Your fire is getting tame if you call that ordeal I went through lighting a fire under mates.
Jarel: Only fair to make you work for it for once.
Me: That’s an awfully odd way to talk to your god, you know.
Vlad: Dude, you’re writing our stories. Clearly you know what he’s like. I’ve put up with him over 10,000 years.
Me: Speaking of which, you answered the question before about how you got the name Vlad the Impaler. I posted it for fans a few weeks ago. You never said what prompted the idea.
Vlad: Well, Vacker wasn’t doing his job. Killing them alone didn’t send the message. Anyone could have killed them for any reason. And I mean that. Weak little fuckers.
Jarel: I did enjoy that particular look of horror when Vacker saw those heads on spikes in front of his house. Can’t believe I never thought of it myself.
Vlad: Anyway, I had to send a message. Do your job as the parents of the race or I murder them brutally.
Me: Doesn’t seem like he fully got the hint.
Vlad: No one ever said he was smart. And Deidre was always too willing to let him take the lead. She was better at enforcing than he was but then the kids just run to daddy and daddy spoils them. I don’t actually understand why I couldn’t just kill him.
Jarel: He had moments where he would do the right thing and abide by my laws.
Vlad: Yeah, and look where that line of thought got us. Power hungry blood crazed brats helping to resurrect the most dangerous of all Titans and aiding Lucifer. Oh, not to mention a dead son for you and two tormented grandchildren forced to grow up and into their powers much too fast. Good judgment call there.
Jarel: Do you actually value your life or have you become suicidal?
Vlad: I am what you made me. I was actually raised in your palace. What the hell do you expect?
Jarel: A certain level of tact would be nice.
Vlad: Yeah, I’ll learn that when you do.
Me: Jarel, you do seem to meddle a lot. What’s with the match maker thing?
Jarel: It’s simple. Being in my service is never simple. My children go through a lot more than I generally intend for them to. All that they do should be rewarded with more than just a long life. When I see their soul mates, I maneuver them towards them.
Me: Ok, so I know Vlad’s story is next and then Andreas and Kazarian have another one. Who’s next?
Jarel: Octavius will be after them. Hard headed little….
Vlad: Now now, let’s be nice when talking about your nephew.
Jarel: Said nephew is actually more annoying than you. If my hair could naturally go grey, he’d be the reason for it. I got loads of satisfaction out of what happened to him.
Me: So knowing you, what happens to him isn’t good.
Vlad: Let’s just say, he has a rough road ahead of him. But at least you get to find out why he’s such a gigantic arrogant jackass.
Me: Do I want to know why you call him that?
Vlad: Other than the obvious fact that it’s the truth? I’m about as old as he is and we don’t exactly get a long. Why the hell Zarel and Nyx birthed golden flames is beyond me. He really acts like a golden child. Spoiled, hard headed, whiny.
Jarel: Eternal pain in my ass.
Me: I kinda need there to be a happy point in his story, you know, a happy one for him.
Jarel: The jackass finds his soul mate. He just has to go through really hard time to get there.
Me: He’s a god. How hard can it be?
Jarel: Hmm, how shall I put this without spoiling it?
Vlad: Think what happens with Vacker throughout my story, multiplied by one hundred.
Me: Yeah, no one else knows how your story ends.
Vlad: Yeah, but you do. We all have our trials to go through. I think he came out better at the end.
Jarel: I don’t rightly care. I got what I wanted and his father elected not to try to save him. In fact, his father starts it. It’s really not a good thing when he and I are on the exact same page.
Me: People and gods alike tend to die when you and Zarel agree.
Jarel: *grins sadistically* I love how well you know me.
Well, that answers a question for me. I don’t like that grin though. Jarel’s more than a little twisted. Hmm, guess I’ve got to get Vlad’s story out of the way for you all to learn what happens with Octavius, the Golden Dragon God. I felt like he’d be coming soon. After all, one of his children is the last to go rogue.